When a big challenge confronts someone, reactions vary. However, when I find a challenge, I recklessly begin without looking back. At Christmas my family does a gift exchange, and I had an idea to make a twelve days of Christmas present with each level being a different food or toy; of course, they had to be homemade. My mom is a list maker, so when I told her about my idea, she said the obvious, “make a list.” She was right. As I made my way through the grocery store on one of my first solo shopping trips, I was glad that I had made a list. I did fairly well; except I left without an ingredient that I just couldn’t find, Karo syrup. I didn’t ask because I don’t like feeling stupid. It’s something I need to work on. One finds a lot about herself on her first solo grocery shopping sprees. I learned that Karo syrup is not in the same place as all the other baking ingredients. I also learned that asking people for help would have been better than coming home lacking what I needed. Eventually I procured all my ingredients and read through my recipes. I was ready to cook.
Popcorn balls were one of the delicacies that I slaved away in my kitchen to make. I learned how to pop real popcorn because my dad had pity on me and helped. Popping popcorn should not be scary, but I found myself waiting in nervous anticipation for the kernels to pop. Every time the popcorn popped high enough to raise the top of the pot, I jumped like a little kid jumping at a jack in the box. When the popcorn was popped, my mom helped me with the rest. The popcorn sticks together with the help of a candy mixture that is cooked to what the recipe book calls, “hard ball stage.” Making the candy mixture requires nothing more than rapt attention. I had to stare at the candy thermometer until the mixture was hot enough. My boredom was cured by the next step of the popcorn ball making process. We poured the candy mixture on the popcorn and buttered our hands. My mom and I had a blast forming the popcorn into the balls. The mixture is hot, so it’s like playing Russian roulette; “Will I burn my hand or not?” Afterwards I tasted a popcorn ball, but it was too soon. My jaws became glued together, but it was tasty.
I learned many lessons during my candy making experience. One of them was to make sure to watch a candy thermometer vigilantly. Besides popcorn balls, I made truffles, cookies, chocolate covered cherries, and sugarplums. In the gift exchange, my uncle ended up with my present. It was a hit. I was glad that I had decided to face the challenge. It may be a cliché, but making a present for someone is always more rewarding than buying one.
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I loved the first part of you story. Your introduction made me want to keep reading. Towards the end, it felt like you weren't sure how you wanted to close it. I want to read you essays aloud so that you can hear it. It could be your closings, your sentence variety mistakes, or it may be a simple spelling mistakes. Overall good essay.
ReplyDeleteAudience and purpose: 3.5
Format: 3 missing heading
TOtal 43/50 86%
Interesting, I would have to say. You have very good spelling. But, I think you need to work on the sentence structure and transitions. I found your story quite funny because of the way you told the story.
ReplyDeleteI loved this essay, I couldnt help but laugh cause I too recently discovered "real popcorn".Your intro was catchy but your closing was lacking. You used vocabulary that so far I have not seen in other papers.Your story makes me want to attempt to make some popcorn balls, it sounds yummy!
ReplyDeleteKirsten, the story made me laugh and it was awesome because i could relate to it. I know its hard to ask for help in some situations but you'll soon learn that it is one of the most important life lessons. The only thing i could find is a few mistakes like the proper format of a narrative.The things that stood out was that you talked about what you felt inside or thoughts going on in your mind. I really liked this story because i like to see families so close and having a great time. I also liked how you made your present which is very considerate. One question i have for you is, what did you get in the gift exchange?
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